Locked Down

At first I thought this was going to be an opportunity, then I thought it was becoming a challenge and now I realise nothing is going to be the same again professionally or personally. 

I knew things were going to be difficult when my wife mentioned that lockdown might be an opportunity to have sex (for the first time in 9 months). I had planning a visit to my regular (and very kinky) escort until bloody Boris Johnson interfered.

I thought it would be proper to pay anyway and got in touch to let her know.  Of course for her this is a very scary situation. Her entire business collapsed overnight and she has no idea when or if it will start up again. Since then we have been swapping emails, texts and speaking much more than usual as she looks for alternative sources of income. Finding an opportunity to talk to the person you have sex with but shouldn’t while you are locked in 24/7 with the person you don’t have sex with but should is very tricky - thank goodness we are allowed out to visit the shops occasionally!

Of course sex workers of all kinds are suffering during the lock down but I have yet to see any mention of this in the mainstream media. For those who do sex work to feed the kids it must be a nightmare - my regular isn’t in that situation but it is still very worrying - she is a sensible and responsible person who pays her taxes so she has applied for Universal Credit but I doubt if that is going to help very much. I’ve been donating to a hardship fund set up by the Sex Worker Resistance and Advocacy Movement and if you feel so inclined this is where you can find them https://www.swarmcollective.org/donate

Weirdly the lockdown seems to have unearthed some dirty little fantasies that have been buried in my subconscious for years and I dread to think what it says about me but as you are all proud perverts too I guess you will understand. One of them involves a masked, latex gloved, uniformed woman entering the room where I am lying on a bed.  She straps me down without speaking but I am sure that behind the mask there is a pretty face smiling at me. I tell her she fill the uniform beautifully and she slaps my face hard. She lubricates her hands and begins to masturbate me but decides it is taking too long so pushes a dildo into my arse.  I am now fighting to stop myself coming but can't help thinking about her cunt beneath that uniform.  I imagine it clean shaven and very wet and so I start to come while she collects the semen in a test tube. She removes her gloves and strokes my face gently and I think she is going to speak.  I make a gentle murmur and she takes her hand away before striking me again even harder. She leaves the room and I start to wonder, and hope, that she will be on duty again the next day.

I wrote a full length version of that fantasy but I can't find it and that has alarmed me greatly. Until now I have thought that the risks involved in having a web site where I talk honestly and openly about my sexual activities past and present were very small.  I even imagined lock down would enable me to finish a number of posts, some factual, some just pure filth, but we are having to share IT much more than usual so that we can both keep on WFH and I have started to fear I am going to make a mistake and she will spot either my secret email inbox or, even worse,  the address of this web site which isn't password protected.  

The other day I opened a page on a shared device and to my horror the address of my web site was  offered to complete a drop down box. It wouldn't take very long to realise who wrote if you know me well and the consequences would be devastating.  The last few days have been spent trying to clean up the machines and make my personal lap top impenetrable to anyone with only casual IT skills.

I don't post much but I have enjoyed being a part of a community where I can be completely honest about my sexual urges and activity and engage with such lovely and supportive people. But now I think I have to take the site off line soon though I will continue to follow many of you and read your posts - and perhaps use Twitter a bit more.

Back in real life lock down is a pain but work goes on and I have done some volunteer food deliveries so I don't feel completely useless.  But it is increasingly clear here in the UK that some terrible mistakes have been made and when we are out of the COVID 19 crisis there will be some dreadful consequences to deal with.  A mental health crisis is undoubtedly developing - its hard enough if you live in a large property with a garden - I cannot imagine what it is like on the 18th floor of a tower block with an entire family trapped for the duration.  It puts concerns about my web site into perspective so in a few weeks it will be close.

But right now I really, really need to fuck my beautiful escort friend again!

Mike