An Open Door

My heart belongs to Doris so Isobel will have to wait to make her choice though it may not be any better than Doris's choice of guys was...

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At last my heart's an open door
And my secret love's no secret anymore

​Secret Love by Sammy Fain & Paul Francis Webster

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When I was a child my young heart was captured by Doris as I heard her singing "The Deadwood Stage" on "Family Favourites". I knew nothing of her beauty then only that in those few minutes she created a world I wanted to be part of wearing my cardboard stetson and toting my cap gun.

When I was a young man I lusted for the bodies of women who sang like angels and danced like devils. If Liza Minelli as Sally Bowles had said "Follow me" I would have crawled through broken glass to be with her. But I never lusted for Doris - she was too sweet to soil with my fantasies.

When I was a middle aged man I played her songs to would be lovers and fell in love with her afresh. At Christmas time her songs would soothe and charm and for a few moments I was able to believe that the world was a good and safe place.

Now I am an old man and I have learned many things. Men treated Doris so badly that she chose to give her love to animals who gave her devotion in return and didn't betray her. A few days before she died I watched Calamity Jane through these eyes that have seen the good and the bad of this world.

Doris as Calamity and Allyn Ann McLerie as Katie Brown set up house together one more time as I nodded off.  But when Wild Bill Hickok and Lieutenant Danny Gilmartin came calling they were sent packing and Jane took Katie by the hand and led her to the bed where they kissed passionately before beginning to explore each other's gorgeous bodies and then.......

The innocent 5 year old I once was doesn't understand what they are doing and turned away though the old man wondered if Doris might have had a happier life if she had found a faithful gal to spend it with instead of all those faithless guys.  And then the credits rolled and Doris sang "Secret Love" and I dreamt that they lived happily ever after.